Monday, June 29, 2009

A parable on how we got into this economic mess in the first place...

"A parable on how we got into this economic mess in the first place".

As the stockbroker, dressed in his pinstriped suit, stepped out of his BMW in Queen Street, Auckland, (it could well have been Sydney, London or New York) another car slammed into his door, shearing it right off!

When the police arrived the stockbroker was apopleptic."Did you see what that idiot did to my car, my beautiful Beemer(BMW)," he screamed."Have you any idea how much this car cost?"

"Sir!", the officer said, "You're so concerned about your car you haven't noticed your arm has been ripped off too!"

The stokebroker took one look at where his arm used to be, and screamed,"Where's my Rolex?

Some would suggest this is the capitalist value system in action?

Read here first

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Tasmanian crop circle mystery solved...

Aussies are going to love this story!

Another mystery concerning crop circles; this time in OZ!

The mystery surrounding crop circles in Tasmania has been solved. Stoned wallabies were eating poppy heads and hopping around in circles. Yes, its true!

Tasmanian Attorney- General, Lara Gibbons said they enter poppy fields, get high as a kite and stagger round in circles. Then they crash, leaving the eventual circle.

Many people have believed in the past that crop circles wer created by aliens - not these ones though friends. These are fair dinkum wallaby created ones. Deer and sheep have been known to act weird after eating poppies in the state's highlands as well. Tasmania is the world's largest producer of legally grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.

Stoned wallabies

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Jim won a million from the lottery, but wasn't too happy...

Jim won a million from the lottery, but wasn't too happy...

Jim was a country boy, and had won a lottery prize with the ticket he had bought in the city.

Jim was coming into town to collect his prize. He was all dressed up in his Sunday best.

He ambled through the door of the office of the lottery organiser."Give me my $20 mllion dollars now mister." he told the organiser.

"Sorry, but it doesn't quite work that way. You get a million today, and another million every year for the next 19 years." the organiser replied.

Jim was so furious with this answer. "What! If you won't pay me now, give me my dollar back." he demanded!

Won a million

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Two gay penguins hatched an egg and entered mother/fatherhood...

Two gay penguins have successfully hatched an egg and entered mother/fatherhood and are proudly rearing the chick.

Z and Vielpunkt, both males gladly accepted their "Easter present" and set about hatching the egg as if they were born to it, at a zoo in Bremerhaven in northern Germany.

The two "fathers'' are by all accounts diligently handling their offspring. Z and Vielpunkt are reportedly part of a six- strong gay penguin community among the zoo's endangered Humboldt penguins who became famous when four Swedish females were brought in to unsuccessfully "cure" them of their homosexuality.

Like humans before them, the "cure" never worked. Its all in the wiring as they say!

Read here

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Sire's passionate encounter - not all about sex...

Sire's Passionate Encounter. It’s Not All About Sex...

Some people ask me why I persist with writing poetry on my blog, especially as they don’t elicit a whole lot of comments. I tell them its because I like using poems as a form of expression and that I love to share them with people. Even if one person happens to like what I wrote then I think it was worth the effort.

I wrote this after a personal experience I had in what seems to be eons ago. Some of you may not agree with my experience, unless that is you are a hot blooded Aussie male, who more than likely experienced exactly the same thing I did. And so, without further ado, My Passionate Encounter!

I got her home late one night
Picked her up at a bar, without a fight
I have wanted her, for so long
I could not wait for the last song.

Up the stairs we went, the door I locked
I held her close, I was so hot.
With a struggle I removed her top
I gazed upon her form, I could not stop

In desperation I tore off her wrap
You could almost hear the dripping tap
Perspiration covered her naked form
The beads of sweat visible now the wrap was torn

My feverish mouth claimed her own
The sensation so great my mind was blown
It was not long before she was spent
In frustration against the wall she went

Though short, for it did not last long
I knew I did nothing wrong
For as she lay there, once held dear
She truly was one heck of bottled beer

I hope you enjoyed that? It was actually and old joke or something that I turned into a poem because I couldn’t remember the joke itself enough to tell it as it should be.

We really enjoyed it, Sire. thats why I'm putting in a link to your site for people to read more of your wit, and perhaps some of your technical advice over there too!

Visit Sire

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

When Ralph met Ralph - a mere coincidence...

Did Someone Say "There Is No Such Thing As Coincidence?" So said my friend Familyfunandfaith! But what about when Ralph met Ralph?

"Quite a few years ago I moved to work in a congregation as a youth minister. I knew before I moved there that the preacher and I had the same first name. We were, and still are for that matter, Ralph. It was easy enough for folks to distinguish between us, because he was Ralph A and I was Ralph B., both in seniority and in actual initials.

But I found over the ensuing weeks and months that there was an eerie number of coincidences surrounding us. His wife and mine both had the same first initial, J. We both had two children and we both drove brown Chrysler product station wagon vehicles. Are you impressed yet?

Before I moved to that church I had been writing a bulletin article each week titled Reflections by Ralph. When I arrived I came to find out that Ralph A. was publishing a weekly bulletin article titled Reflections by Ralph. I discovered that his dad and mine, as well as both our grandfathers were also named Ralph.

One day, several months after my arrival, I was in the secretary's office going through the mail that had just been delivered to see if there was anything there for me. I saw that there was a letter there for Ralph A. But I was dumbfounded to read the return address. His dad lived on Chestnut Street in Abilene, mine lived on Chestnut Street in Lake Jackson!

That was enough for me, I quit looking for more coincidences. I did not want to find that we had be switched at birth or some other unacceptable situation!

Got any tales to top that?"