Monday, January 31, 2011

One liners to get you laughing today...

Elastiek-01 (xndr)Image via WikipediaNo matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

The maths teacher confiscated  a rubber band slingshot in her class because it was a weapon of maths disruption.

Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy woman who are interested in them? Try a bookstore under fiction.

I used to work with two guys named Alan Beatty and Neville Buist. The pair made a great  "Beatty and the Buist".

Scientists say they have found the missing link - a little monkey. It lived on mostly twigs and berries, which makes it a direct ancestor of today's supermodel.

The anti-aging ad I'd like to see is a baby covered in cream saying,"Oh, I've used too much!"

I keep my office cold. Just because  my dreams have died, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be well preserved.

"A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother."

Lord,  give me patience...and the time to recover.
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Sunday, January 30, 2011

We are getting wealthier as we get older...

Poster from The Cheetah with the Native Americ...Image via Wikipedia

We are getting wealthy as we get older
Silver in the Hair

Gold in the Teeth.

Stones in the Kidneys

Sugar in the Blood.

Lead in the Feet. 

Iron in the Arteries.

And an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.
We never thought we'd  accumulate such wealth!!
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

NASA unveils planes of 2025...

A Lockheed Martin building in Bethesda, MarylandImage via WikipediaNASA has unveiled some images of how we will be traveling in 2025.

Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, and Boing were each awarded space agency contracts to study advanced concept designs for the aircraft of the future.

Here is what they came up with after being asked to create aircraft that deliveered less noise, cleaner exhaust and lower fuel consumption than todays planes.
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Friday, January 14, 2011

Arriving down here soon...

Palm trees in Los Angeles. Taken by my wife on...Image via Wikipedia

Arriving down here soon...

By Peter Petterson

First published at Qondio:

Karl wanted everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honey-mooned thirty years before.
So he decided to get up an hour earlier to make all the necessary arrangements. That night he emailed her, but for some inexplicable reason, he misspelt the address and it was sent to a recent widow.

The next day the widow's son found his mother passed out in front of of her computer. On the screen sat this email:
"My darling wife, I've just got here and everything's set for your arrival tomorrow. Hope your trip down here will be as pleasant as mine. P.S. Its really hot!"

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Romanian witches casting a spell on their government's tax decision...

  • Romanian witches casting a spell on their government...

    Romanian witches casting a spell on their government...
    By Peter Petterson
    First published at Qondio:B)
    Witches in Romania are collectively grabbing their broomsticks and casting a spell on their government there. They are being made to pay taxes for the first time and are not happy campers!
    A dozen witches threw a poison mandrake plant into the Danube River putting a curse on tax officials because of a law change taking effect from January 1 2011. The new law is part of the Romanian Governments drive for increased revenue and a crack down on tax evaders in that recession-hit country.
    Previously less mainstream professions, including witches, astrologers and fortune tellers, were exempt from tax. Many earn less than NZ$19.00 per consultation.
    Under the new tax law they will pay 16% in income tax and make contributions to health and pension programs. A welcome to the real world philosophy, perhaps?
    Witches oppose tax because they earn little from their traditional occupations. They accuse lawmakers of stealing and using them to put spells on their enemies.
    Spiritualism is still important in Romania - the birthplace of Count Dracula, where political leaders still quite often consult witches and psychics and the wearing of purple to ward off evil spirits.
    The queen of witches in that country, Bratara Buzea, aged 63 years, was imprisoned for witchcraft by former Romanian dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu's repressive regime, and is reportedly angry about the new tax laws in that country.
    However, a supporter of the new laws, Mihaela Minca claimed the news laws were good because "our magic gifts are recognised and witches can openly set up their own practises', she said. A bit like the situation in another country after prositution was legalised. Payment for services rendered.
    A freemarket for witches, astrologers, fortune-tellers and others perhaps?

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Sunday, January 9, 2011

New York City SerenadeImage by joiseyshowaa via Flickr

Gay man found dead and castrated in NY hotel room...

Gay man found dead, castrated in NY hotel room...
Veteran fashion journalist and gay activist Carlos Castro, 65, was found naked with his testicles hacked off in a InterContinental Hotel room at about 7pm on Friday, ABC news reports.
It is believed Castro was castrated with a broken wine glass and had suffered from head trauma caused by a blunt object.
Castro and his model boyfriend Renato Seabra, 20, had been on vacation in New York since late December to see Broadway shows and celebrate New Year’s.
The couple had reportedly only been dating for a few months.
Luis Pires, Castro's friend of 30 years and editor of the Portuguese language newspaper Luso-Americano, told The Associated Press that there had been some tension between the two men towards the end of the holiday, saying "they were a little bit upset with each other, for jealousy reasons" but did not foresee that something bad was going to happen.
After the alleged slaying, Seabra was approached by Monica Pires, and Wanda Pires, the daughter and wife of Luis, in the lobby of the hotel that he was staying at and was asked about Carlos joining them for dinner.
Monica said Seabra "seemed in shock" and "wasn't expecting to see us.
The three talked briefly and Seabra said that Castro was "not coming out."
Seabra's strange behaviour caused Monica to alert hotel staff who later found the dead man in his hotel room.
At that point, Seabra had allegedly got into a taxi and was driven to a nearby hospital where he was treated for self-inflicted cuts to his wrists.
Seabra was deemed a person of interest and was arrested at the hospital to prevent him from fleeing the country.
Suzanna Divilly, 40, who was staying at the same hotel, told the NY Daily News that she heard the two men arguing in their room on Friday.
"There was a lot of noise, talking. You could hear them arguing in the corridor and even in our room," she said.
Seabra was a contestant last year on a Portuguese modelling reality show called "A Procura Do Sonho," or "Pursuit of a Dream".
He did not win but managed to score a modelling contract with an agency afterwards.
The NY Post has reported that Seabra was actually straight, and was only in the relationship with Castro for money.
A source was quoted in the newspaper as saying that Seabra is a womaniser who gave no indication of being gay.
Castro is known as a fashion icon in his native Portugual and has been reporting on the country's high society for years.
Acknowledgements: MSN News

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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Blu-ray or blu-ray disc - more than just a pretty color...

Blu-Ray Disc logoImage via Wikipedia

Blu-ray or blu-ray disc - more than just a pretty colour...

By Peter Petterson
First published at Qondio:
You may be interested like me to learn a little more about the new technology known as Blu-ray or Blu-ray disc. It is becoming really competitive with the traditional DVD technology. Insiders in the industry claim there will eventually be only one winner - and it may well be Blu-ray.

I have heard and read a little about this new technology known as Blu-ray or Blu-ray Disc. This is the name for the new optical disc format jointly developed by the Blu-ray Disc Association, which includes about two hundred members within the industry.
So what makes Blu-ray so special apart from its pretty blue-violet color, instead of the traditional red laser used to read DVD technology?
Apparently Blu-ray has a shorter wavelength which makes it easier to focus the laser spot with greater precision. Data can be packed more tightly and in less space. Blu-ray disc movies are becoming more popular too. But I don't have a Blu-ray player at this stage, and will have to rely on media publicity and information online. I have provided a couple of URLs for readers to research this subject further.
While Blu-ray can only be played on their own players, DVD's can also be played on these machines which will make them clearer as well. While consumers with smaller TV sets will reap the benefits of Blu-ray,the real benefits of improved picture quality will be more obvious as the screen size increase. 3D may be some way off yet; you'll still have to wear your special glasses to watch 3D and in any case there are only limited titles available.
Just as VHS outlasted Beta in video formats, Blu-ray has conquered HD-DVD which is reportedly fading from the market.

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